Monday, July 12, 2010

Mister Sharp

Hailing from a quaint hamlet in the Shire of York, Mister Sharp spent his youth playing cricket and hanging around in loosely organized gangs on village greens and other such insalubrious places.

Mister Sharp has been vigilant on your behalf and has wandered the sceptered isles of the UK observing natural phenomenon and societal dysfunction, in order to bring the truth to the huddled masses. Be it rampant lesbianism, uncompromisingly apronless women or the mind-bending horrors of narcotic substances, Mister Sharp will be there to shine the light of truth and sound the clarion call of wisdom to all who harken!

Mister Sharp could be classified as a raconteur of sorts, using his wits and his own mouth to convey tales of his intrepid exploits, such as the time he tangled with the near-mythical female builder and the occasion he was almost killed by a relentless onslaught of socialist ideals. He possesses a penchant for the under-dramatic, never giving you more than the right amount of truth necessary to make informed decisions. Previously he has travelled the length and breadth of Great Britain, using the ancient mediums of raised voice and facial expressionism to pass on his messages but, with the recent invention of the internet he is now able reach hundreds of people at the same time.

Using the twin modern miracles of electronicism and computery, he has woven a wonderful selection of videos for your edification and now, for the first time in the history of history, it is possible to purchase these messages in cloth format @ Yes, a range of vestments has been devised in order that you can show the truth to others. You may not agree with the sentiments proposed by these garments, but you should probably wear them anyway as a mark of ordinary, decent respect.